We’ve been a good friend, sibling, boyfriend/girlfriend, and we look after our parents. We take care of everyone and we make sure everybody’s happy. Why don’t we start on ourselves – understand yourself a little more, be a bit kinder to yourself, etc. and maybe through putting ourselves first, we can be able to share more happiness and love.
1. Stop comparing yourself to others
What other’s strong point is your weak spot. We are all different. If this method works for him, it doesn’t mean it will work for you too. Just think about it this way, we are all customized. Stop comparing yourself to other because it is just so toxic and can result to deterioration of your self-esteem.
As Louis CK said, the only time you need to worry about what’s in your neighbor’s bowl is if you’re making sure they have enough. Amen!
2. Watch your words
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Yes, you can be clumsy at times but it doesn’t mean that you have to say “I’m so stupid!” every time you spill your coffee on your new table mantel and probably scream every profanities every time you’re having a bad day. You are only human. You mess up sometimes – fine, most times! But, don’t be too harsh on yourself. You won’t be too harsh on treating other people, so why do it on yourself?
Try to calm your thoughts, focus on the brighter side and praise yourself every time you accomplish something, no matter how little it is. You can treat yourself a little something whenever you achieve your target weight this month. Or maybe eat your heart out on a weekend after working really hard for the past weeks.
Remember: Everything should be in moderation including moderation.
3. Hangout with yourself
Learning to spend time with yourself can be the most crucial part of radical self-love. Have you ever eaten alone without being self-conscious? It feels really awkward for the first time to be honest and it feels like everybody’s judging you and it feels like they’re thinking about how pathetic of a friendless loser you are when in truth is, they are jealous because they don’t have the guts to enjoy alone.
Hanging out with yourself is like a therapy for the soul. It’s empowering! Own your personal freedom! Unplug from your virtual world for a minute, take off your earphones, and close your laptop. Go for a walk in the park. See a movie. Check out the local food scene. Smile at strangers. The feeling of discomfort and awkwardness will eventually go away and you will enjoy every minute of it.
4. Reconnect with your BFFs
After a week of mental and physical burnout from school or work, we all need a bit of fun. Why not call your high school barkadas to have a nice catch-up session over coffee, or cocktails. You might be surprised that one of them is already starting her own restaurant, or maybe one of them is planning to propose to his girlfriend. Spending time with your BFFs can remove stress and is a kind of healing that you probably don’t know and probably needs the most. Friends, Foods and lotsa chismis is always a good idea!
5. Say what you want to say
If you think your classmate’s idea for your group project is a bit awry, you can politely suggest other things that might actually help. It’s a group project after all. Or if you need to say no to an account because you’re already overloaded with work, find a professional way to decline or ask for a deadline extension at least.
Your voice matters. You have to speak up and stand up for yourself in order to be heard and it’s a way to honor yourself. Just make sure not to be rude to others it’s a major NO-NO!
6. Dream big
It’s really nice to picture yourself in a better situation: better workplace, better house, better smartphone, and better paycheck. You always have this very grand dream of yours and somehow there’s a little voice in your head that doubts you to achieve it. Don’t listen to it. Push a little further. Keep working for it. Someday, you’ll surprise yourself that you’re already there.
Never give up. Great things take time.